tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post1162605736471171608..comments2023-06-04T08:46:35.240-04:00Comments on Life with a Flourish!: Randomly Delicious & Blogfest: First PagesA.J. Freyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15490138130935376612noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post-19124656514045191732010-04-03T17:09:19.706-04:002010-04-03T17:09:19.706-04:00You instill a fresh, quirky, lovable personality i...You instill a fresh, quirky, lovable personality into your heroine in a few short paragraphs. Excellent.<br /><br />Come read my first page and see what you think. Have a surprisingly fun weekend, RolandRoland D. Yeomanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00338410857990551352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post-90934390502269534072010-04-03T17:03:44.656-04:002010-04-03T17:03:44.656-04:00This was super fun to read!! Loved it! I was not b...This was super fun to read!! Loved it! I was not bored at all. Which is very cool! Keep on truckin!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post-62267125124645137792010-04-03T16:43:09.570-04:002010-04-03T16:43:09.570-04:00Love this! Especially the whole not normally sexy ...Love this! Especially the whole not normally sexy thing, sounds like the perfect start:) Now I want to know what the night is going to be like for her as a sexy vampire.Tina Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05914428134837892539noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post-74383539902327235722010-04-03T00:30:11.007-04:002010-04-03T00:30:11.007-04:00This is really fun--brings back Halloween memories...This is really fun--brings back Halloween memories. Of course, I'm wondering what kind of turn it's going to take!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post-8701159586006179462010-04-02T22:38:05.974-04:002010-04-02T22:38:05.974-04:00It's almost my bedtime so I skipped the above ...It's almost my bedtime so I skipped the above comments, sorry if I repeat what's been said. <br /><br />I really enjoyed this! It flows nicely, is easy to read and picture in my mind. I love your voice. Thanks for sharing.Charity Bradfordhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01960821077619680661noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post-63588437750088246462010-04-02T22:10:06.233-04:002010-04-02T22:10:06.233-04:00She has spirit (or so it seems)! Love it. Thanks f...She has spirit (or so it seems)! Love it. Thanks for participating- I'd keep reading for sure.Kelly Lymanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14773120663217816189noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post-71151398412919378502010-04-02T22:02:11.071-04:002010-04-02T22:02:11.071-04:00Oh, I like this. Loved the last line - way to intr...Oh, I like this. Loved the last line - way to introduce a character!Tarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09008153523366719973noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post-4547469285608123922010-04-02T20:55:15.918-04:002010-04-02T20:55:15.918-04:00I loved your story. This section really stood out ...I loved your story. This section really stood out as stunning:<br />Zipping up the knee-high leather boots, I stop by the mirror for one last look. The struggle was well worth it. My eyes glow a bright crimson with black around the edges, as if the fire inside has burnt the curved periphery. - This first followed by the hunt for lost teeth?<br />Then tighten up the boy's description - you Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15459671422564355990noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post-36887475099648255092010-04-02T20:00:00.581-04:002010-04-02T20:00:00.581-04:00Great job pulling me into this story. Excellent be...Great job pulling me into this story. Excellent beginning, Alicia.Roxyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09787088898112141579noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post-90082742993592353782010-04-02T19:30:35.383-04:002010-04-02T19:30:35.383-04:00Excellent, AJ. I'm totally intrigued. I've...Excellent, AJ. I'm totally intrigued. I've always loved to dress up in costume, so these paragraphs pulled me in immediately. In fact I had to go read the blurb for Iron Thirst. <br /><br />I'd read this book in a heartbeat, even if I weren't a recent transplant to Atlanta and fascinated by DragonCon - although that's true too.VR Barkowskihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04927993233682731113noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post-52452646893263667822010-04-02T19:30:04.848-04:002010-04-02T19:30:04.848-04:00OK. I freaking LOVE THIS. I LOVE that the teeth an...OK. I freaking LOVE THIS. I LOVE that the teeth and eyes aren't real , for starters. I love that she's looking around, and you get a sense of "what's she going to DO?" Home run, Alicia.Sierra Godfreyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00552916038080341870noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post-43732017149358820022010-04-02T17:13:07.416-04:002010-04-02T17:13:07.416-04:00This is great. I really like it and I think I'...This is great. I really like it and I think I've read some earlier versions on Public Query Slush PileJuliehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06004818838544105847noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post-69492182254799087002010-04-02T16:20:37.794-04:002010-04-02T16:20:37.794-04:00Wow! Thanks for everyone! Little overwhelmed. Don&...Wow! Thanks for everyone! Little overwhelmed. Don't normally get this much response in one day. Feelin' loved. :-)A.J. Freyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15490138130935376612noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post-36480317418712826082010-04-02T15:38:16.486-04:002010-04-02T15:38:16.486-04:00Loved it. Very believable!Loved it. Very believable!Laura Paulinghttp://www.laurapauling.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post-77644023296443452622010-04-02T14:51:01.306-04:002010-04-02T14:51:01.306-04:00I love the characters and the dynamics between the...I love the characters and the dynamics between them. Great beginning!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08616276555920544920noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post-28048888329346461072010-04-02T13:03:12.712-04:002010-04-02T13:03:12.712-04:00I like your excerpt, the writing is very clear, co...I like your excerpt, the writing is very clear, concise, full of voice. I usually have a hard time with beginnings.About Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10011023963327391019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post-16717041669699874942010-04-02T12:44:33.236-04:002010-04-02T12:44:33.236-04:00Haha I loved your beginning and your ending to thi...Haha I loved your beginning and your ending to this scene. You can already hear her voice very well, which is so important. Fantastic job =)Natalie Murphyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01116611923169722657noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post-13625723057136012912010-04-02T12:20:20.274-04:002010-04-02T12:20:20.274-04:00I really like this! Great implied history (messy r...I really like this! Great implied history (messy room indicating a wild search). I like the voice--very strong--it brings out her personality wonderfully!!<br />:)Elizabeth Muellerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06028099814857743134noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post-80450682652632106022010-04-02T11:32:58.483-04:002010-04-02T11:32:58.483-04:00Oh yeah. I read this on TPQSP and I got to hand i...Oh yeah. I read this on TPQSP and I got to hand it to you on the rewrite. Very strong. <br /><br />I feel the excitement; and her personality comes through very clearly. This is just awesome Aj.<br /><br />I know this novel is amazing. I'm so intrigued, I'd drop everything else to read it.<br /><br />.........dholedolorahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08715849844092553699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post-14135600862266638922010-04-02T11:23:02.785-04:002010-04-02T11:23:02.785-04:00Sounds like Felicity is poised to fly out of her s...Sounds like Felicity is poised to fly out of her shell. I'm definitely curious to see what trouble she can get into dressed as a vampire in the city of Atlanta!Portiahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13435815819572442582noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post-47373657101289918762010-04-02T11:18:26.877-04:002010-04-02T11:18:26.877-04:00I find the beginning is the part I always rewrite ...I find the beginning is the part I always rewrite the most. You've done a great job! And thanks for following!Laura Canonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16574566234310522696noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post-68462777654120813042010-04-02T11:00:55.722-04:002010-04-02T11:00:55.722-04:00I REALLY enjoyed this!! I want to read more, and y...I REALLY enjoyed this!! I want to read more, and your first line is just perfect!Crystal Cookhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06665844725894074136noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post-32317330324963208232010-04-02T10:57:48.202-04:002010-04-02T10:57:48.202-04:00I understand the fear of starting a new WIP. It...I understand the fear of starting a new WIP. It's lurking all around me. I have to possibles stories that I want to work one, and don't know which to tackle first. <br /><br />I liked your opening here. it certainly pulls a the imagination which is never a bad thing.Jm Diazhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02542245056831474827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post-81974424264627420692010-04-02T10:28:27.575-04:002010-04-02T10:28:27.575-04:00I like this a lot. And I really love that last lin...I like this a lot. And I really love that last line. :)sarahjayne smythehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02589820347348973092noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4762350475694970261.post-26416866591294914672010-04-02T10:13:59.305-04:002010-04-02T10:13:59.305-04:00I always start with the beginning, but ironically,...I always start with the beginning, but ironically, for my upcoming book a prologue was requested, so I did end up writing the beginning last.Alex J. Cavanaughhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09770065693345181702noreply@blogger.com