Wednesday, January 2, 2013

No Kiss Blogfest



Thanks so much for Frankie Diane Mallis for hosting the 4th Annual No Kiss Blogfest!

I chose the following scene from Iron Thirst. It's just a fun scene that I had a great time writing. Felicity had been waiting for days to see Blake again. She was convinced he was never coming back. At the coaxing of her sister, she decided to let her hair down a bit, and well... this happens...
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“Fee, door!” Kim yells.

I run to the door and take a quick glance through the peephole. “Shhh,it’s him,” I try to whisper, but it’s not very quiet.

I fling the door open, and there stands Blake, little twigs of hair fallinginto his eyes. He’s wearing a white button up shirt under a black dress coat,with dark blue jeans, and a smile as big as you please. 

“I was wondering when you’d show up,” I say. It comes out a little slurred.

“I would have been here sooner, but--” he says, leaning in. I think hejust sniffed me. “Felicity, you’re drunk.”

“Jus’ a lil.” I fall backwards, and let the wall hold me up for a littlewhile. It wasn’t doing anything important. “Hey, Sis! Ain’t he a tall drink ahan’some?” 

“Water, Fee!” she yells back at me.

“No, thank you, but I’ll take more rum.” 

Blake laughs, but tries to cover it with a cough. “No, no, you don’t.No more rum for you. You have had enough,” he says.

“You’re not the boss of me,” I state.

“You’re right, but I do care.” Aww, now that makes me feel all warm andfuzzy inside. 

Kim comes back from the kitchen. I notice that she did not bring rum.“You must be the infamous Blake. Heard all about you. I’m her sister, Kim.She’s being rude. Come on in.” 

“It’s ok. She’s had a lot to deal with the last week or so,” Blakesays. “I’m not staying.” 

“He always leaves.” Dammit. That was supposed to be internal dialogue.Blake laughs at this. Nice to know I’m so freaking funny.

“Felicity, I really needed to talk to you, but I can see now is not thebest time. Please meet me at my office at seven o’clock tomorrow night. Youshould be sober by then.”

I open my mouth to talk, but he doesn’t let me finish. “Come with me,”he says, leading me to the kitchen, pulling me by the hand as my feet flopalong behind him. 

He pulls a card from his wallet, and then a pen from a pocket insidehis jacket. He leans on the countertop and writes something. I press my backagainst the refrigerator, and turn my head to take in the beautiful sight ofhim. 

He walks over to me, standing so close I can feel his heat. He reachesout one of his hands and places it on the refrigerator behind my head. He’sgoing to kiss me. I can feel it. I close my eyes and push my lips out toreceive his kiss, and wait. And wait. Nothing. It doesn’t come. 

I open my left eye to peak up at him, and now he is definitely laughingat me. “I put my business card on your fridge. It has the time, the address,and my phone number,” he says. 

I can feel my face turning into a beet. “Fine. I’ll be there,” I say.It sounds huffy.

“Don’t be mad. I was going to come sooner, but it’s been crazy. Pleasecome see me tomorrow,” he says, taking my hand.

“I said I’d be there.” Drunk people don’t turn off angry very easily.“Well, you had to go.” 

He turns and walks to the door, and I follow him. He opens it andstands in the entryway. “Felicity, please take care of yourself. I’ll see youtomorrow.” Then he bends down and kisses me on the forehead. I melt.

“I will be there.” This time I’m sweet about it. I shut the door andjust lean against it.  
      
“Well, that went well,” says Kim, handing me another pina colada.

***

Hope you enjoyed it!

14 comments:

  1. That might be the best use of 'you're not the boss of me' I've ever seen. Nice post!

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  2. Oh alcohol the facilitator of many a kiss, and even more almost kisses. Well done this scene was priceless.

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  3. "Drunk people don't turn off angry very well" - ain't that the truth! Great line.

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  4. This was great! Drunk scenes are fun to write, and I enjoyed the entire thing. The comment about leaning against the wall because it wasn't doing anything important made me laugh.

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  5. I totally bought the drunk! Sometimes that's hard to pull off, but you did a good job with it! Nice scene!

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  6. Bringing alcohol into a scene always adds some major complications. I really like what you did here! Nice job and thanks for participating!

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  7. This is such fun and great dialogue. I like Blake a lot for every way he reacts.

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  8. I did enjoy it! Great excerpt! I wish I could read more and see their meeting the next day. Well done!

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  9. Thanks, everyone! I'm glad you enjoyed it. As mentioned, it was a lot of fun to write. I hope the drunk behaviour was believable--I've spent many years researching. ;-)

    Nice to see a few new faces around here. Hope you stop back by in your future internet perusals.

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  10. A new follower here, saying hello from the blog fest. Thanks for sharing your story! I too would be curious to know how that meeting goes the following day...

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  11. Loved the scene. Really cute and completely believable. Blake seems like a really nice guy--it's impressive that you conveyed that in such a short amount of space. :)

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  12. Thanks, Tamara! He sure does seem like a nice guy. This is only the third time they meet. Hmm, I'm really thinking I should post more soon. It's been fun letting people meet my imaginary friends. haha

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  13. Hi, A.J. I'm a few days late in checking out the entries for the No-Kiss Blogfest, but late is better than never!

    Anyhow, great piece! Love the dialogue and the way your characters interacted. Alcohol always seems to make things (particularly relationships) just THAT much more complicated, doesn't it? By the way, I don't know if this only applied to my computer, but some of the words didn't have spaces between them. Overall, great job! Thanks so much for sharing with us, and I hope you enjoyed the blogfest! :)

    ~Wendy Lu

    The Red Angel Blog

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