A Lesson from Pilot Episodes

Since I gave up on regular cable and just pretty much use Netflix and Hulu, I have developed a strange addiction. I love watching pilot episodes of television series. This past week,  I watched the pilot of West Wing, Ally McBeal,  and The Following. It fascinates me how they set up an entire series, introduce characters, and fill you in on backstory, all while still being interesting enough to keep you intrigued for that episode and hooked to come back for the next.

As writers, we can learn a thing or two from a pilot on how to set up our own stories. We can use the examples they provide to show not tell, provide backstory sparingly, introduce characters dramatically, and entice the readers to keep on reading. I will examine the pilots of the three series that I mentioned to show you what I learned from them.

 
West Wing is an excellent example in how to bring in your actors. It set up the characters by making them have a grand entrance. You get a strong understanding of each character by their actions, dialogue, and the predicaments in which they land.We should strive for this in our characters.

The action was front and center. The characters were always moving or involved in quick, witty dialogue. There is not a bit of drag. Every inch of that script is used to tell show the story, move it forward, build drama, or for character development. Not one scene superfluous.


 
Ally McBeal is on the opposite side of the spectrum. Its opening episode was also filled with lessons that a writer can learn, but more along the line of what not to do.   It was a poorly done pilot, and if I didn't already know the series--there would have been no way that I would have come back for more.

What's worse--I was showing the episode to a friend who had never seen Ally McBeal. I raved about the show, but truth be told -- I had never seen the pilot. I came into the series, originally, around season two. During watching the episode, I found myself continuing to say things like it gets better, it's not always filled with so many flashbacks, and just keep watching, I swear.  If a book started this way, I would shut it and not return--unless I had received those same pleadings from a fan who had already read the whole thing.

New writers don't get this luxury with an agent or publisher. You have the first five pages to grab someone, buckle them in, and pull them into the book. They don't care about the spectacular scene on page 56, not if they never made it to page 3. 

It consisted of too much back story, too much inside-the-head commentary, and a full fledged, glitter-free pity party. Most of the jokes and scenes were just for the cheap laugh. There was not a consistent structure, the characters contradicted themselves, and too many scenes of Ally just walking down a sidewalk thinking.


The Following overall was a wonderful first episode. It let you know early on what type of series you were watching, started with drama and action, slipped in back story as needed, showed you the flawed characters, and ended the episode with a cliffhanger to pull you back the very next week.


If we view the first ten pages or so of our novels as the pilot episode, then we should try to accomplish what The Following has accomplished. I was engrossed from the moment the show started, and was covered in chill bumps when it was over. Had there been a second episode already in existence, I would have been watching it. Translate that into a novel. If you can invoke excitement and fear in your readers and have them craving more, then you have won. You will create your own following.

A lot of weight is put on the pilot episode.  It is make or break. The show will not see a regular viewing audience if it does not test well among sample audiences or TV executives. It has to introduce the characters, show why you should care for them, communicate what type of show it will be, and above all else, entertain and hook the audience. For the writer, we must accomplish this in the span of five to ten pages. Take some time to watch a few pilot episodes of television series. Make notes of what works and what doesn't. Never stop learning how to be a better writer. 

What are some of your favorite television shows? Did you start with the pilot episode, or did you come into the series later? Do you have a favorite pilot that demonstrates how to hook an audience?

No Thanks, but I'll Tell Ya Why

I set off on the mission of querying a couple of months ago. I felt great about the condition of my manuscript, I had two versions of query letters, and was off to find agents that represent my genre. I sent off one or two at a time, spacing them out. I decided to query slowly.

I received a few no’s, but also received a few requests for partials. Let me tell you—that is an exciting yet terrifying experience. Sometimes I don’t know which I was more concerned with – the yes or the no. Am I ready for this?

But one of the most spectacular things happened. I received the mystical helpful rejection. The agent said he would pass, but he was very honest about exactly why. He offered advice to improve the manuscript. In the writing world, this is the next best thing to a yes. Wow!

Now, I will be honest. I read it just like I’ve read all of my initial critiques. The first time with my heart broken, the second time in denial, and then when I was ready – with my mind open.

I began planning the new direction for the book, taking his advice to heart. In my particular case, it involved trimming down the beginning and streamlining the initial plot. I chopped nearly seventeen pages out of the first fifty, adding more strategically placed cliffhangers to help pull the reader forward.

There were some really fun scenes that had to be pulled. It hurt to do so, but I believe it truly helped the story. And with this new beginning, the book reads more like a supernatural romance than the original urban fantasy that I had been trying to sell it as. A slight switch, but the reader can get a feel for what they are getting themselves into much quicker.

So, my fine penned friends, it pays to query slowly. Had I sent out a large chunk of letters, I would have burnt bridges with a version of a book that wasn’t where it needed to be. And like I said – I needed the advice of a professional to get it closer to perfection. Not to mention, I took it as a huge compliment that the agent took his time to give me advice.

If you are querying – query slowly. Give agents the time to review your work. Make changes, keep growing, and above all – don’t give up!

How’s your writing or querying going?

Confusing Me Will Only Make Me Better

Yesterday, I mentioned that I have a chapter currently up for review on Critique Circle.com. For those of you that are not familiar with this site, it is a free website where writers can post their work for others to review. You earn points for reviewing other people’s chapters or short stories and then use those points to post your own work. It’s a great place to get many critiques on individual chapters in a short amount of time. Your pages are up for one week and can be critiqued by as many as six critiques as a newbie, and an unlimited amount as you move out of that queue. On average, I normally receive about 5 or 6.

What I find the most interesting is the range of those critiques, which is true with all critique groups. Each of them provides great insight, and what I can take from them is invaluable. I have received four different critiques so far, but they are so varied from each other that they remind me of this season of American Idol.

RANDY: Dog, that was a hot one right there! I’m blown away. (Stand up, chair falls over)

ELLEN: That was great. Not what I would have done. Maybe exactly the same, but completely different. But I like you. (Awkwardly looks to Kara.)

KARA: I expected a little more, but I think it is a 100% improvement from before. (Cuddles up closer to Simon.) But you can do better. (Pushes Simon away.)

SIMON: Look, that was complete rubbish. I don’t know what I prayed for more—for it to end or for a power outage.

(Ok, I didn’t get any Simon’s. Thank goodness!! But I have in the past, and when I first started. I’m still traumatized. Haha.)

What is even funnier is that the site has a wonderful feature that allows you to combine all of the inline critiques into one document. Fantastic. Ok, that’s not the funny part. The funny part is that there was one line in particular that all four critiquers commented on. Two absolutely loved it with multiple exclamation marks, and the other two “didn’t get it” and it “just wasn’t working for me, dog.” That last one is not really a quote from the site. But you get the idea.

So what do you do?

--There are some things where they all pointed out the exact same thing. That’s easy – fix it.

--If one person points something out that no one else has ever touched on, I listen with both ears. I mull it over and see if there is validity to it.

--Split 50/50 – I have to follow my gut, listening to the arguments from both sides, and do what I think is right for my story.

--A mixed review? You can’t always just go with majority. Each review is slightly weighted. Do they read the genre; what is their experience; how far down the path are they; do they “get” my quirkiness? (Some people just don’t, and that’s ok.) But never discard based on any of those facts nor use them to just do whatever the heck you want. You have to listen, but the application of these critiques has to be well thought out.

--Lastly, don’t touch anything until it’s all had time to simmer. What may have earned an eye roll when you first read it – may turn out to be the best piece of advice you receive.

What may come from these critiques could be simple line edits (misplaced question mark that everybody except me caught) or major rewrites. Time will tell. I will tell you what I have learned so far--this is getting much closer to finished. Maybe just one more round. :-)

So, what do you do when you get conflicting critiques? What type of critique group are you in?

Just Breathe

I have pages in two different people’s hands right now, and my “new” first chapter is posted on Critique Circle.com. Having new people read your work is exhilarating and terrifying. And I’m very lucky and happy to have people that are browsing through my words, and helping make them stronger.

But it is full disclosure time. I am never more neurotic than when I am waiting on a review. I pray in time this will get better for the publishing business is all about waiting. I know this, and that is why I make sure that my crazy is kept internal. Well, with the exception of this post. The only reason that I share this so openly is because I don’t think that I am alone.

But you have to recognize this for what it is and not give into temptation to pester those blessed souls who have offered to read your work. To not fill their inbox with insane messages of …

--- “What page are you on?” ---

---“Nevermind, don’t read it. You won’t like it.”  ---

--- “I know you’ve had fifty pages for only thirty minutes, but what do you think?” ---

--- “Your silence means you hate it. Am I right?” ---

--- “Please love me.” ---

*Just so we are clear, I have never ACTUALLY sent any of those* :-)

Please note, my anxiety is not a reflection of the critiquers, only of my own impatience.

These people are there to help you get stronger, not to validate you as a writer. And the process of waiting is one that you must become accustomed to if you are serious about the business.

--- You must wait until your manuscript is ready before querying.

--- You must wait and query slowly—not sending a mass email to all agents who you think rock.

--- You must wait to hear back from said rockstar agents.

--- They ask for pages, you must wait to hear if they love them.

--- If they love them, you must wait for them to find the publisher that thinks you rock.

--- Found a publisher, you must wait on that much dreamed about cover.

--- Cover’s on shelf, you must wait to see if people love your characters as much as you do.

And if they do, all the waiting will make that moment all the sweeter.

No matter if it’s the wait for a critique, the wait for the words to be your version of perfect, or the agent’s email to finally hit your email box after the thirty-seventh time of you sending an email to yourself with the subject ‘TEST” – BREATHE!  Take a deep breath, find something else to do, channel your anxiety into beautiful art, and don’t forget how blessed you are to have been given the gift of words.

The choice to write can be made in a minute, but the decision to become a writer is not one that should be taken lightly. It is a journey no less difficult than Frodo’s. This business requires determination, courage, resolve, patience, strength, and wonderful friends who help put you back on the right path when one of those is faltering.

Celebrate each accomplishment. Brush off each down fall. And put your best write forward.

Much love to all of you for being my Samwise on this journey!

So tell me. What are you waiting on? Are you a patient person? Do you stress when others have your work? Or do you stay cool as a cucumber?

*Oh, Want You Be My Beta*

Look at all those new bright shiny faces. It’s so good to see all of you. There’s one more day for the CONTEST. And don’t forget to come back by on Monday for the results show. Kris Allen will be singing. Oh wait, that’s not here; that’s Idol. It’ll just be me, but I’ve got presents.

***

 

**This is the faux cover I created, instead of working on revisions**

I am nearing the end of my revisions and will be placing the manuscript in hibernation for a month. While I am not touching it, I wanted to see if anyone would be interested in reading it.

Ideally, I would like two people that have not read previous copies to please read it. Critiques can be as detailed as you want or just broad reviews, and I promise not to cry if you tell me, “Wow, this was complete crap. Were you high when you wrote it?” And in case you were wondering,  No – I was not. My first (original) chapter has been critiqued by about ten people, the second by about six, but the rest by only one other person, but she read it twice. (Love ya Beej!) Adding the new chapters changed the story, and I need some fresh eyes on it.

I prefer someone that enjoys urban fantasy. I’d give it a rating of somewhere in between PG-13 and R, maybe if there was a PG-16, but it is definitely an adult read due to violence, language, and sexual content. But not horror. Readers of Charlainne Harris, Laurel K. Hamilton, and Jeri Smith Ready would probably appreciate it most.

If you’d be interested in reading or have questions, shoot me an email (click on the envelope to the right) or respond in the comments. In return, I’d be more than happy to return the favor. I am a fan of just about anything except for literary fiction (mostly because I don't think I would be able to offer a helpful critique), and prefer not to read stories that end where everybody you made me love dies. One of them, two of them, but not every-freakin-body. (Stupid, beautiful, Atonement!)

My Little Secret

I didn’t grow up with visions of best seller lists dancing in my head. I had a wild imagination, but never made the connections to becoming a writer. So it was quite the surprise to me when I finished the first three chapters of Iron Thirst (which was once Iron Obsession).

My husband knew what was going on. He watched me write, but beyond him, I didn’t tell a soul. I hid behind my keyboard at night – my dirty little secret.  I was terrified that if I said it out loud it would stop. Or worse, people would think I flipped my skull. I mean – it was just a phase, right? Like marathon running, painting, or interpretive dance (ok – never did the last one, just making sure that you are paying attention.)

But it didn’t stop. I continued to write, keeping my new passion hidden from the world. When I realized that this was more than just a fun past time – that it was a dream – I knew I would have to go public. Come out of the writing closet. The book was nearly finished. I was halfway through act three.

I made the leap and mentioned it to a friend at work, and waited for the look. You know- THAT look, one eyebrow up, smirk, switch to dead-pan, “Oh, that’s nice.”

But it didn’t come. She was proud, excited, curious. Ok. Let’s try again.  New person. This one had dreams of being a writer and never made the leap. He had tons of questions of how to get started.

And as I continued to share, I found more and more people who wanted to write, but didn’t know where to start. So the blog was born.

Now, fast forward to WIP. I haven’t been as secretive. I talk about it, and people want to know the plot and the characters. Me, having an open door policy, tell them. Ahh, but here’s the problem.

I ran across a hole shooter. Met one? “Well, that won’t work.” “That’s been done.” “I don’t think I would read that.” Pick one. Anything negative. This is all stuff that I was able to work out on my own in the early stages with Iron Thirst, but we are still in the beginning. It’s fragile, and the negative is, well, cramping my style.

Luckily, I realized what happened and have shut the door. I’ve learned that I write much better, stronger, with the door shut. I’ll open it back up on draft two, but for now this is what works for me. I plan on keeping my little secret until it’s a fully developed story, and then I’ll beg the hole shooter to find the valleys in between the good to help make it better.

So – when you started to write, did you openly talk about it? Or was it your secret? Do you openly discuss your WIP?

Where the Heck Did You Go?

Writing serves a selfish purpose in my life. It is the one place that I come to that is my own. When I write, my audience is me and I try not to worry of the effects it will have on others (at least in the beginning stages. Editing is when I think of the consequences, and make the decision of whether to self-censor or not).

I heart my chaotic life. (No, really!) I work full time as an assistant. My day is to serve clients and bosses and to keep them happy. After that comes school, where my job is to keep the professors happy and earn my big fat “A”. Motherhood is a very rewording role (my favorite and the most important), but it does require keeping irrational short people safe, fed, and if at all possible, happy.

This semester added a new layer in the form of two group presentations. This caused me to team up with two groups in order to create projects that will be a large chunk of our final grade. And although, I love my group, it does add an extra few straws on the stress donkey’s back.

When life gets too full, the first thing that disappears is reading for fun. It’s replaced with textbooks and studying. Once the reading for fun stops, the writing well is the next to dry up. I try to keep writing. It is my release; my escape from the world, but I’ve noticed the relationship between the amount of words that go in and the amount of words that come out. And when one stops, the next slowly disappears. It becomes physically painful when the words stop. And it has been nearly two weeks since I wrote anything new. (Ouch!!)

I finally broke down and force fed myself a few books to get back into the swing of things. Over the holiday break, I inhaled Joshilyn Jackson’s The Girl Who Stopped Swimming. It is a much different type of book from what I normally read, but I really enjoyed it. It gave me some perspective on some possible future books for me – opening some closed (locked and hidden) doors.

The reason that I picked up this book was also a bit unusual. I signed up for a Pitch Critique Workshop. Joshilyn Jackson has been in the possession of my first 20 pages since mid October, and I thought it only fair that I read her novel. This weekend she will be giving me my critique. Then in a separate time slot, I will be giving her my pitch, and she will critique that as well. Since I turn into a bumbling idiot when someone asks me about my book, this should be quite entertaining. (Toss some more hay on there, Sweetheart. He can take it. LOL)

Currently, I am reading King’s The Shining. It’s just what I need to get in the right frame of mind for my current WIP. Another issue in itself. We’ll come back to that one later. I may need real therapy by the time this book’s done. Haha.

There are two more weeks left in this taxing semester, and then I’m back. I will try to do a better job of posting in the meantime – and adding a few more words daily to that WIP over there on that side bar. Maybe not the thousand or so words a day that I was doing, but each word makes a dent.

Revisions: Tweezers and Wrecking Balls

            Since I am knee deep in revisions, I thought I’d take a break and talk about that for a moment. Let me start by saying, I am a newbie. This is my first novel. When I started the process, I hadn’t taken a single class, read a single style or writing guide, nor did I remember much of what my English teachers said about quotation marks, commas, or periods.

            I was oh-so-proud (ya’ll member) to finish my first draft. I sent it off to a friend, who lovingly pointed out how horrible my grammar was (God love her!) and caught many holes. I fixed everything she said – and then Ta-Da! It’s finished. Hoorah! Build query letter, and off I went to write book number two.

            But then I began to do my homework. I inhaled copyright laws, proper first chapters, Elements In Style, Stephen King’s On Writing, fiction workshops, pitch workshops, critique groups. Then I came back to book one. My reaction… (wait for it) … OMG! This thing needs serious work.

            Shock, huh? I didn’t appreciate the value in revision. I was afraid of it. It intimidated me to think about re-writing things that I had already labored over. But this new epiphany clued me into what writers much further down their path already know, it has to be done. You must revise, and your story will only grow as a result. If you are afraid to change things or admit that your manuscript needs work, it will sit on your hard drive and will not ever land on an agent’s desk.

            I took a wrecking ball to chapter one, threw my much loved prologue in the trash, added five new scenes, one deliciously evil, new character (read previous post), a nice POV switch, removed probably a thousand adverbs – apparently I’m addicted, and I’m only up to chapter 15 out of a total of 30. Woohoo!

            And you know what; I’m loving it. I haven’t had this much fun since, well, I wrote the first draft. It’s hard at times to kill your darlings, but I save each draft in case I can use it in the future. Alright, enough rambling – back to revisions.

Critiquing Critiques

Two scenarios. 1) You have finished your novel. It is a 100,000 word piece of art. The greatest thing ever written. You pass it off to a critique group and wait to hear the superfluity of praise. 2) You have just written a novel. You are quite sure that is utter crap. It is not going to sell, and you’re not even sure why you bothered. You pass it off to a critique group, and wait for them to tell you to find a new hobby, because you have no talent.

Ok. First of all, both attitudes are horrible, and it will be hard for either one to benefit from the critiquing process. Scenario A will ignore everything they are told, because they know better, and scenario B will listen to everything and create something that lacks their own voice and originality (and more likely just give up).

The critiquing process can be a fun, exhilarating process, but it is not an easy one. You are going to need to put on your Teflon armor before you proceed. Not to mention, be sure you are prepared to give the same honest critiques that you hope to receive.

Here are a few things to keep in mind when you get back those highly anticipated (or dreaded) words of wisdom:

1) Say thank you. Specifically list anything you found helpful. Ask questions about things you didn’t understand. But for the love of Twain, do not argue, defend, or discredit the advice. (I apologize immensely if I did this to you in my first round of critiques. Chances are you were right and the revised MS now reflects it.)

2) Make sure that you request critiques from multiple people. Don’t just get one that says, “Yea, you’re great” – and then take a nap. Make sure you get multiple POV about your work.

3) After you’ve collected all of these nuggets of advice, praise, and criticism; take a step back. Let it soak in. Don’t immediately run in and change everything the minute you get it back. Ponder the information that you have received. Then tackle your ms with a plan.

4) Don’t listen to or ignore ALL advice. Once you get all the critiques back, you are going to have to make a judgment call. Some of it will be conflicting. My first critiques were so opposite – I felt like they were playing tug of war with my words.

Nothing improves your work more than getting and utilizing these critiques, but you have to be smart about it. Make sure that the end result is something that you are proud of and still holds your voice.